Nineteen Seventy-One
by All of the Candles
Summary: When Jake is sent to America for the summer by his mother, he expects some strange things to happen. After all, he is staying with John Egbert, a close family friend. Being his quirky self, John doesn't wait an hour before whisking Jake off to an adventure. Switches between John's point of view during 1944 and Jake's in 1971. I dont own Homestuck. [Obviously] Feedback please. :Y
1. Chapter 1

A/N:

Yes okay this is my first fic don't judge and stuff lmao kthx bai.

Real A/N: That's correct, My first FanFiction. Im going to deal with characters I know the most, so I don't think it will be too OOC. I don't want to put any pairings down [Yet], so Im going to be descript and subtle.

Kay now its time to write some wonderful prose.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[Classy breaker]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You look at the man attempting to drive next to you. The traffic is thick. You begin to fall into deep thought. You ponder why your mother has sent you to die of heat stroke or possibly get yourself soaked on a daily basis. Even worse, you have to stay here with your-

What is he?

You think about your relationship with John Egbert.

You are JAKE ENGLISH, and you are currently riding in JOHN EGBERT'S 1971 Corvette Stingray. You have to say, the Americans make fine cars. Of course, you are quite fond of the new Jaguar your mother has purchased. You scoff at yourself out loud after examining your train of thought. You need to learn to keep focused. Now "Mister Egbert" as you call him is a close family friend. Your mother knew him during the war. She had attempted to tell you how exactly they met, but you, being the 'young English ruffian' you are, had skipped out many a time. You smile wide at the sly and witty excuses you had thought up to escape the surely boring and rather long story that awaited you.

A voice on your right stirs you from your state of thought.

"Wake up sleepy head!"

You look to your right. Only one grown man on the entire planet would speak to you that way.

"Implying I was sleeping, Mister Egbert? I assure you my senses are up to snuff and raring to go." You give him a similar grin. You decide to add a wink. Perfect.

He gives you a toothy grin and raises an eyebrow. 'And Americans say the British have bad teeth', you think to yourself. You chuckle at your witty mockery of Mister Egbert's dental cosmetics.

Oops, you said it out-loud.

You hear giggles erupt from the other side of the seat. You narrow your eyes and slide your gaze over to the source. You had forgotten Miss Crocker was there. You attempt to shift your gaze before mushy-

You aren't going to finish that. You abolish further thoughts of the coveted Miss Crocker. You did it again. You must cease thinking this way. You must not cloud your mind with such vibrant fantasies.

Damn your ornate and descriptive lexicon. That one broke the camel's back.

In hindsight, you should have stopped looking at her by now.

Oops X2 Combo

~~~~~~~~~~ End of Chapter One and such~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I heard you like kinky weird shit.

Also, given my favorite fic just got criticified [Selfdiction], Im going to be an obscure and astoundingly moronic nook sniffer and write the entire story in Third Person. Anyway, enjoy. Yes please.

Please enjoy. This is all I have. –Puppy Dog Eyes-

[Was Joke.]

~~~~~~~~~~~~-Heavenly Voice- Chapter Two~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You stop being Jake because you don't want this shit taken down.

You are just going to watch from a safe distance.

Jake finally pulls his now dilating eyes from the 'Coveted Miss Crocker'. He wrinkles his nose and stops to consider why she thinks the befoulment of her guardians name is so funny, but that requires a suspicious amount of thinking. The likes of which Jake wouldn't dare occupy himself with at the moment.

Speaking of occupied, John has already given up and decided to pullover. He appears to be struggling with a few tents and such. The camping norm, Jake assumes. Jake, being the gentlemanly person he is, inquires whether Mister Egbert may or may not need his services.

"Nope! I'm fine! You just worry about squeezing your way out!"

Jake's face contorts.' Is that as catty as it sounds?' Jake proceeds to consider the possibilities whilst the Fair Lady Crocker fumbles a rather large sunhat around her head. Being the old-timey person he is, Jake denies that there is any reason the hat should be as large as it is. He hopes he didn't say that out-loud too.

Jake cannot help, however, not to note the color of the hat in question. It's the most vibrant blue. Being the thoughtful bozo he is, he considers a complement. Jake idly shifts his eyes around. Noticing a door in need of a proper opening, he goes motherfuckin' Mister Fantastic on it, awkwardly reaching around 'The Fair Lady Crocker' to 'be kind and chivalrous.' He smiles at his new cutesy name and, at the time, relevant Marvel Reference.

'Miss Crocker giggles to a few feet short of snorting.

"Whoa there Plastic Man! Thank you from saving me from the door, but I don't think it was really out to get me."

Jake is already proverbially melting, but 'The Fair Lady Crocker' decides to finish him off with that famous toothy smile. Jake is surprisingly allured by it. 'Never again shall such sensitive thoughts cross my mind'. Jake from then on vows to himself to 'not conjure any fantasies or humor tantalizing thoughts.'

Jake curses his word choice and shuffles out behind the now upright 'Miss Crocker.' He chuckles a little bit. He doesn't even know 'The Fair Lady Crocker's' name, yet he believes himself a fool for her. He would rather not accept that, but part of him thinks it's true.

Jake's ears perk up as Miss Crocker's voice rings in his ears.

"What might we do to occupy ourselves, John?"

Jake cringes a little bit. He would never call his mother by her first name. 'Mostly because she demands 'that much' respect from people'. Jake hears the words echo around in his cavernous think pan. He wonders what his mother actually did to earn such high degrees of praise.

By the time Jake snaps out, John has finished talking.

"What do you think, Jake?" Jane smiles the very same smile as always as she says so.

Jake is dumbfounded.

"Yes, I completely agree. It's the best idea of the decade, if you ask me."

'Nailed it', Jake thinks to himself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Here have another note~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: #

ALSO. 14 VIEWS FUCKAS. I GOT IT GOIN ON YOOOO.

WOOT WOO WOOT

No one has given me much needed feedback. BUT PEOPLE BE READING THAT SHIT YO.

Hue.

Anyway, I don't want to get mother fuckin removed, yo. I plan on writing in an even more classical Third Person Limited Point of View. That shit be classic, yo. Anyway, anyone who has any quarrels or tips should possibly give me feedback. Maybe.

. . YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO -Jumps out window-


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Oh my goodness gracious! SEVEN WHOLE VISITORS.

-Dances-

A FEW OF WHICH ACTUALLY CAME BACK FOR MORE. WOOT CAPSLOCK WOOT.

I still want some feedback.

:3.

Anyway,

Here have some fictional OTP. Also, I plan on posting a chapter devoted to John's service after this one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Yum Breaker Yum~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jane is elated by this. Jake searches for the right word

But im the fucking author. I know all the words.

All of them.

Jake, finding the right word, casually nods his head.

"I think you will find my thinking to be almost analogous."

John breaks into a fierce laugh. Dropping the bags, he trots over to Jake and pats him on the back. Jake makes a face that is 'analogous' to that of a deer in the headlights. Perhaps he had said that the wrong way? Jake glances over to the nearby Miss Crocker to notice a blush swamping her face. Unable to understand his error, he innocently forms a quarry, this time noting to not say anything with more than one meaning.

"What might I have said to provoke such a response? "

Jake notices that 'The Fair Lady Crocker' has begun to hide her eyes with her palm. John finally calms down. He picks up the bags again and opens his mouth for a few seconds, formulating words.

"She raised you a saint, didn't she!"

"I don't see where you are going." Jake pauses and begins to pale in comparison to the now crimson Miss Crocker. "Might it have something to do with the forefront syllable of the lattermost word in my statement?"

John giggles in a not very age appropriate matter. Jake, being the person he is, decides to clear up any misconceptions.

"I was simply considering how much of a trendsetter your headgear must be! It's a rather nice shade of blue. I was just idling fixing my gaze. Not that I was gazing. I was day dreaming. Errr. That's not the term I planned on using, but the proper term escapes me."

Jake formulates possibly replies he could receive, but he, in his 'Idle Gaze', has seem to have been unable to triangulate the current whereabouts of Mister Egbert. He attempts to regain eye contact, and notices a rather toothy smile on Miss Crocker's face. Jake mouths a 'what?'. He obviously failed to hide his intrigue.

"I appreciate that you had the audacity to acknowledge that you had been misunderstood!"

"It is the most gentlemanly thing I could have been presumed to do." He attempts a similar toothy grin.

He fails miserably and ends up biting his lip. It looks really dumb.

Stop editorializing.

It's dumb looking.

A distant John's voice wavers.

"Jaaaaaaaane! Stop having a 'jolly hoot with the young gentleman' and help me with these darned tent poles!"

Jake rejoices. He obviously failed to hide that, too.

"What? Have you never pitched a tent before? Why so eager to learn?" She grins and tilts her head a bit.

Jake can practically hear John laughing. He is not going to acknowledge such thoughts being associated with that sentence. He swears it. By the time Jake is done making solemn vows to himself, Jane has already begun to walk into the woods by the side of the road after her father.

"Only in America is this an acceptable way in which to vacation." Jake feels himself sigh in relief. No one heard that.

He dash-walks into the woods after Jane. He attempts to stay focused on the sunhat.' It obviously was not the best idea to wear a hat into the woods. It's already getting snagged on everything.'

Jake notices a small shaft of smoke wafting up from nearby. He formulates a complement for Mister Egbert. That should help out with getting to know Jane better. The word echoes in his head.

"Yes, Jake?"

Maybe it wasn't just echoing in his head.

"I see that your father is quite adept at the creation of a fire. However, I hope he has the ability to control it. I might also consider not doing so in the future. A lamp or similar device will serve the same purpose. Convenient, definitely! Certainly more legal. With this moody weather, who knows what kind of-"

"I understand your concern, but I assure you. John knows what he's doing. "

Jake, you done goofed.

"There was never any doubt. I was just making conversation. Also, I'm sure other means will be more efficient, cleaner-definitely safer! Not that I'm implying you-"

Jane puts her finger to her mouth.

"You are just concerned for your safety! No problem in that. Everyone is initially fearful of the wilderness. "

"I am not fearful in the least. I was just sta-"

"Well shucks-buster! It seems John is all set up!"

Jake moves his field of view up and around the sunhat. He is not very impressed, but he must reach good terms with Mister Egbert and Jane.

AN~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yeah sorry bros and shit. Got sidetracked with being Eridan and shit

You know wwhat. I don't need to justify this.

-Jumps out the window-

-Comes back up stairs.-

Oh yeah. Thanks for reading! Its like

Cool and shit. Thanks. More updates tomorrow. I think.


	4. Chapter 4

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~A/N~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Update that no one will read exist not a tool BF. Yeah okay. Take it back. Lmao. Official Apologies and shit. But in all seriousness, hes not a tool. Also

Ignore this

It never happened.

Ever.

-Runs like fuck-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~-Whispers "Im butthurt" and runs away-~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jake marvels at the fine looking tents before him. He is amazed that John could manage this feat. He raises an eyebrow, noticing there is a roaring fire pit near one of the tents.

John doesn't notice at all. He is too busy fondling a strange stick.

How fucking perverse.

Jake notices this public display of affection, and opens his mouth to say something. He considers what he could say to be respectful but terse. He formulates his wording.

"I don-"

"At this rate you will have eaten yourself full of flies by dinner time!"

Jake whips his still open mouth around. He ponders why he thinks so much. He comes to know conclusions and himself down, on the bare dirt, to think harder.

Oh wait.

He quickly stands up, dusts himself off, and begins his retort.

"I was simply contemplating how one could possibly create a tent with such vigor, and still do a smashing job."

John turns around.

"Well thank you! I'm sure you could do the same if it need be."

"Indeed."

Jane chuckles.

"That is the shortest statement you've said so far. At a loss for words? Marveling at this 'indeed' fine tent?"

"That is, in fact, what I am. At a loss for words, that is." He pauses.

"I'm not a tent."

John laughs.

"I thought you were a wig-wam."

John doubles over with laughter.

Jake, believing it was a rather original joke, giggles like a small girl.

"That was very witty, Mister Egbert!"

A toothy grin erupts on Jane's face.

"I hope you are satisfied, you have completely stupefied the poor boy."

John makes a face. "Why don't we tell a story?"

Jake raises an eyebrow. "That was rather abrupt."

Its my fucking story. Ill do whatever the hell I want.

"No."

-Scene change to later that night-(Scene Change Music Bloo Bloo Bloo)-

As Jake sat in front of Mister Egbert's fire, he pondered the intent of the now named Jane.

But that is boring, and you have had enough of Jake's thoughts.

Mister Egbert clears his throat. "How about I tell you how I earned my glasses?"

"Implying your glasses were to be earned, John." Jane smiles the toothy grin whilst John pouts, and, might I add, in a very immature way.

That's a lot of commas-

Shut up.

Okay.

"I think you should hear him out, Jane." Jake doesn't know who he is dealing with.

"Yeah, Jane! It's a good story!"

Jane sighs. "Well, if you put it that way."

Oh.

"Long or short version?"

"Sho-" Jane is cut off.

"Long, Mister Egbert."

Jake, not knowing what exactly the story entails, volunteers his opinion. He immediately regrets it, speaking over Jane in the process. However, he is intrigued. He thought Mister Egbert's vision problems were genetic. Considering his daughter-err-sister-err- He should ask sometime.

`~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Welp okay Ill stop here.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AN: Sorry for like

No updates

Also

Thank all of them followers and shit.

Specifically my first, Aradia 123.

Once again sorry for

No updates.

I was bu- I was playing Left for Dead.

Im not going to lie to you.

-Runs like hell-


End file.
